Thursday, March 29, 2012

Worth the Wait

There is something about a letter that makes the heart smile, the stomach flip flop, the lips widen into a beaming sign of joy. Maybe because if feels like getting the hug you've always needed, or the inspiration you've longed for for so long.
It doesn't matter who it's from. A letter is a letter. As long as it's hand written, it's worth the wait.
There's something so blissfully happy-making about a letter that I feel bad for the people who don't get them. I think everyone in their life deserves to have a letter at least once in their life from a true friend.
And, believe me, coming from a person who gets very many letters, there is something about them that should not go without being appreciated.
For some reasons when a letter comes you will find me holding my breath as I watch the mail man exchange envelopes from my parents front window. Or you may even catch me improvising a very embarrassing happy dance that my roommate was so lucky to see a little over two weeks ago (yes, the front room blinds were closed.)
Then, there is that silence. That time in the mail box when it's empty. Or, at least, it is for you. Because you're the one making the person on the other end jump for joy. Your letter is reaching them, making their heart as happy as theirs made yours.
And then you wait.
And wait.
And wait....
Until, one day, POP! THERE IT IS! And it's the highlight of your day. The world is right again.
And then the letter ends.
But the words are forever. They are written down for your eyes to see, to take in, to eat up like heart candy.
And then your hand so cleverly writes another and sends it on its way to create a continuous ripple effect.
At least, until you don't need letters anymore.
Because that's the day you'll talk face to face again.
And you won't have to read between the lines for their smile or imagine them saying those words.
You'll see it. You'll hear them.
Because they're meant for your ears, just like the words on those pages are meant for your heart.
But until then, another letter.
And keep 'em comin.

Song of the day: Transatlanticism by Wenzel Temleton and Robert Pegg
Love Always,

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Musings of a Yoga Student

It's funny how each day is so different. Each day holds something new. Something old.
Every day people come and go. Some will be your friend for a lifetime.
Others will temporarily stay and move on without mentioning you ever again.
I have been thinking real hard about so many choices I have to make in the next few years.
Every choice seems so big and I feel quite indifferent.
I worry too much, I know.
But, wouldn't you?
So, yesterday, I was sitting in my Yoga class, all tense, trying to relax.
Trying to get something out of class for the evening to help me with my week when I had an epiphany.
Someone asked me not too long ago to try and incorporate dance into other aspects of my life.
Dance is so dear to my heart. They did not think it would have been fair to take a clean cut.
So as I was practicing my crow pose, continuing to fall out of it, trying worth my life to balance, and I realized that I don't have to divide up dance into different parts of my life, I can make it my entire life! Just because I can't dance anymore doesn't mean it's gone.
I have a passion for dance that I've never had for anything else. So, last night I decided that I am going to take that passion I have for dance and put it into my life.
Have passion for life! Every single day.
It doesn't matter if it's a bad day or a good day.
I'm going to be passionate about it.
Once I realized this. It was like everything clicked.
Balance was restored and I successfully held crow pose for five seconds! haha
Finally, a little balance in my life.

Love Always,

P.S. This is crow pose...TA DA!

Monday, March 12, 2012

It is always interesting when you feel an emotion to such an extreme that there are no words to say.
This, my dear friends, has been me, for the past week and a day.
What is it about us that makes it so easy to feel so many emotions at once?
What is it that activates that drive to feel things and look for meaning in every little detail.
Is it because the emotional side of the human race is dying out? No.
It is not dying, although sometimes it may feel like that.
It seems, though, that emotions always catch up with you.
It doesn't matter how hard you try to bury them under a rock.
They ALWAYS catch up to you. Always.
The past does, too. And so does the future.
Heck, sometimes I feel like even the present gets the best of me.
What is it about us that you hold on to things that you no longer have?
What is the point of keeping that small box of things in the closet?
What is the point of putting pen to paper when there's no guarantee? 
People. Memories. Feelings. Places. A teddy bear, even.
Why is it that the things you wish you could let go of always seems to stick around somehow.
What is the point.
It's times like these I have to put myself in an upright position and walk with the knowledge that God directs me. He will help me figure it all out in the end.
All of it.

Song of the day: Pictures of You by The Cure

Love Always,
Cass <3

Sunday, March 4, 2012

A Not So Positive Entry

I've always had a hard time saying goodbye to people.
It doesn't matter who you are.
It is always hard when there is no guarantee that you will see them again.
There is no promise.
There is nothing.
Just a blank, white, stale sheet of nothingness.
There are always so many things to say and no way of saying them.
So many things you want to express and no way to express them.
It's a messy thing, life is.
Saying goodbye is part of the dirt in it.
And tomorrow is another day.
As empty as it may feel, it is another day.
I can do whatever I want with that time.
Life feels so lonely when you feel like you lose everyone all at once.
I just have to have hope that one day it will get better.
Even if right now there's no way it can get better.
Maybe I will wake up tomorrow and all the tears and regrets and heartache will be gone.
Then again, maybe not.
I feel like a fountain. All I do is spurt water out my eyes.
Tears are words the heart can't say.
That's all I'm good for.
At least, that's how it feels.
And, yet, I can't cry because it's "not allowed."
I can't dance because it hurts.
I can't think because it hurts.
I can't feel . . . because it hurts.
At least for today.

Song of the day: Run by Snow Patrol

Love Always,