Sunday, March 4, 2012

A Not So Positive Entry

I've always had a hard time saying goodbye to people.
It doesn't matter who you are.
It is always hard when there is no guarantee that you will see them again.
There is no promise.
There is nothing.
Just a blank, white, stale sheet of nothingness.
There are always so many things to say and no way of saying them.
So many things you want to express and no way to express them.
It's a messy thing, life is.
Saying goodbye is part of the dirt in it.
And tomorrow is another day.
As empty as it may feel, it is another day.
I can do whatever I want with that time.
Life feels so lonely when you feel like you lose everyone all at once.
I just have to have hope that one day it will get better.
Even if right now there's no way it can get better.
Maybe I will wake up tomorrow and all the tears and regrets and heartache will be gone.
Then again, maybe not.
I feel like a fountain. All I do is spurt water out my eyes.
Tears are words the heart can't say.
That's all I'm good for.
At least, that's how it feels.
And, yet, I can't cry because it's "not allowed."
I can't dance because it hurts.
I can't think because it hurts.
I can't feel . . . because it hurts.
At least for today.

Song of the day: Run by Snow Patrol

Love Always,


  1. Wish I were there to let you cry on my shoulder when you're having a bad day. Love You!!