I suppose I am not quite sure what to say.
I mean, it's only two years right?
A lot can happen in two years. And my heart isn't signed off to anyone . . . mostly.
Everyone kept telling me it was going to be hard. But it was not until yesterday when I got my last phone call that I realized it was really truly the last time I may be hearing his voice.
Ever. Or possibly for two years.
Maybe I don't want it that way?
Maybe I want things to work out.
But I guess sometimes what you want is not what you need.
But then again, sometimes it is.
I'll just keep telling myself that God knows best and that two years goes by faster than I think.
Because it does . . . . when you don't think about it anyway . . . .
I'm going to miss that boy. He is such a strength to me.
He helped me figure out how to stand on my own two feet.
How to believe in myself when no one else will.
He brought me up when others brought me down.
But I guess now is the time to become more self reliant than I have already become.
Now is the time to figure out who Cassady is and have those grand adventures I've always wanted . . . even if they're in my parents back yard because I can't afford to go anywhere else . . .
Everything will be okay.
I can do this.
I am strong.
I can stand on my own. I've proven that.
Now's the time to make the most of being young and alive.
Love takes you places you never think you'd be.
And this is one of those places for me.
I owe him my life and my ever constant gratitude.
Only time will tell.
Good luck Elder Nielsen . . . .
I'll be thinking of you, love.
:) <3 <3 <3
Today's Song: World Spins Madly On by The Weepies