Sunday, February 27, 2011

I Think; Therefore, I am.

I woke up this morning crying from a sad dream I had. The day got better, thank goodness, but I laid in bed for about a half hour and contemplated for a moment.
I've been accepted to snow, I've gotten everything taken care of except my classes, I'm pretty much done with HS, and things seem to be changing and going by way too fast and yet, not fast enough.
I realized this morning that after graduation, half of the people I know now are the people that will never speak to me again. I will probably never see them again in this life time and who knows about the next life.
There are so many people I wish I could have left better or that I wish I would have made a difference to, or made an effect on. There are people that I wish I could talk to before they disappear forever into the unknown, never to be heard from again.
The people I've had close relationships with will either stay in touch with me for a little while and then go off on their own lives, or they'll stay in touch with me until we get too old to know what's going on or die.
I guess I just find myself wishing I had done things differently. But that's where I have to stop my thoughts and realize that life is what it is. The past is past. Things I've done, the people who have left fingerprints on me and I on them, the words that have been exchanged, the things people have done to me and I to them, the awkward moments I've had, my first date, my first dance, my first day of high school, my first kiss, my first class presentation, my first performance, my first competition, my old group of friends, my new group of friends, my new random friends, EVERYTHING is all in the past. I am who I am, I will be who I will be. Same goes for everyone else. All I can do is hope that I've left people better off than when I found them. And, if I didn't, I sincerally appologize and hope you can forgive me.
My very best friend. She always leaves me feeling better about myself.

My childhood friend. She always knows what to say.

My frist dance...certainly a melancholy feeling with this one.

One of my favorite dances.

Been my friend since I was 3. We always get along. Thank Heaven.

Some of my amazing new friends. They're more than I could have ever asked for.

My first concert.
MOTTO: Never look back.

1 comment:

  1. Just when you get to feeling like so many things are coming to an end (HS graduation, etc.), look ahead a few months and you'll have a whole bunch more "first" to add to your memories. Seriously can't believe you're already old enough to be graduating. SERIOUSLY. That makes ME feel REALLY old. Blah.