Walmart Man

So, my friend, Kaylynn and I went to Walmart to get a magnificent carton of Half Baked by Ben and Jerry's. We were just walking in, having a serious conversation, and BAM! Some older guy, probably in his late forties or fifties, black tucked in shirt, jeans, big belt buckle, hat, and cowboy boots, comes walking around the corner. He's walking like a girl, shaking his hips, has his phone to his ear with one hand, and with the other hand, he's holding a pair of underwear (women's). I looked at him and wondered if he just was one of those weirdo's you're not supposed to stare at, so we just acted like he wasn't there.
BUT THEN . . . as we were passing him, he stopped, and in a high, girly voice, he said, and I quote "I don't care if you're a big hunk! I'm breaking up with you! I'd rather be with a cucumber!" and walked away from us and around the corner.
We held in our laughter until he turned around the corner and we started laughing so hard I thought I was going to pee my pants. We got our Ben and Jerry's and when we were on our way back, he started stopping by people and saying other things. All I can say is . . .
Walmart Man, you are my hero.